Say Then Do

Last night I plotted and then layed out most of a six page comic. Made me feel better about the whole being useless and lazy post from yesterday. I always feel kinda dumb after I put up posts like that. Makes me look like a whiner, constantly bitching about things that really shouldn't be that hard to deal with if I just man up.

Actually it really was kind of valid to begin with... the whole feeling creative when there's not much you can do about it thing. That was actually a valid topic I think, because it happens. But then it devolved into some sort of sad sack, woe-is-me, why-am-I-so-lazy-and-stupid kind of post. Like that's going to help me accomplish anything. So yeah, sorry about inflicting that upon you.

Whatever... I plotted and layed out most of a six page comic last night. That is good. I'm excited to draw the thing. It's the debut for a pulp-inspired character I created recently, Phantom Face... that's him up top. Man, I want to draw lots of comics about this guy.

Wrong Place, All The Time

This is a problem I've had for a long time. I've noticed it for years, it's something that dawns on me every once in a while and then slips my mind moments later. It's not a problem I can really fix. At least I don't think there's a solution.

Anyway, problem = this: it seems that my moments of highest creative energy, the times when I am most excited and anxious and ready to draw/write/create are always (ALWAYS) at the most inopportune times and places. At work, where there is little opportunity to bust out a pencil and paper and start drawing lest I be caught and admonished for not working... even when there isn't much to do. Or driving, sure I could pull over and get something done but that's usually not an option, especially since I'm usually trying to get somewhere. It's just that this creative mood always hits me when I can't seem to act upon it. I've kind of got it right now.

But y'see by the time I get home, or some other place I can act on said creative impulses... well the feeling has kind of disappated. Like after work... man, I am lazier than usual after work. All I want to do is nothing at all. And then at the end of the night I sit and feel bad about not doing anything. Seriously, what is up with that? How's that fair. My mind is getting all anxious, my stomach is filled with that feeling you get when you're keyed up and eager and excited about something cool (like Christmas morning when you're ten) and I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakthrough and then... poof... it's gone. Right when I can actually use it, it's vanished. Yet another symptom of my disease, my inability to actually use my talent to further my own personal goals.

What the hell man? How can someone recognize a problem, be upset about it and still not be able to fix it? I have the talent, I know that. I'm a good artist, I love creating cool and interesting things, I like that people like my work. So what is this cursed wall that stands between me and actually going after this dream... I mean really going after it?! And how do I break it down?

(This has been a presentation of "Realizing You're Wasting Your Potential And Not Doing Anything About It, You Moron" Chapter 625, by Paul Milligan)

And Here We Go

Man, how many webpages does one guy need? I've already got my Deviant Art Page and my (sorely neglected) LiveJournal. I mean, I can barely keep those two pages updated (and let's not forget about my almost totally abandoned Stumblebum Studios), what business do I have starting up a brand new blog? Almost none really. But hey, everyone else is on blogger it seems. And yes, if everyone else jumped off a bridge I would be right behind 'em.

Actually I really just wanted to start fresh with a blog that is completely dedicated to my artwork. Such as it is. I hope you guys dig what you see. And I hope I give you guys lots to see. If not just write to your congressman. I'm sure he'll do something about it.

I'm Paul, by the way. How are ya?